I recently learned that filling out an emergency contact form for my kids was a subtle reminder that I don’t really have any friends, at least not ones that live in close proximity who I can call at a moment’s notice to take care of my children in an emergency.

The problem for me, like many introverts, is that good friends can be few and far between, and my years of being in the military made that even more of a struggle. I still keep in touch with my best friends from high school but we all live relatively far apart and only see each other on special occasions. When it comes to my close military friends, all of us have moved on to new states or cities, which also makes staying in touch difficult and less frequent.

I consider myself a pretty friendly person and have never really had any issues making acquaintances or working well alongside coworkers; however, I have met my fair share of people that I just couldn’t get along with if I tried. My dilemma now is that it feels a bit weird to be 43 years old and not really have at least one friend to bond with in person in order to fulfill that human connection most of us need from time to time.

Don’t get me wrong, my wife is definitely my best friend and confidant, but there are certain needs which a spouse or significant other isn’t able to fulfill sometimes. It might just be the need to sit down and share stories or just talk about similar goals and aspirations. But the more I think about it, I come to realize that many other men my age are pretty much the same. For some reason, we all seem to have become comfortable with living in or own worlds and don’t seek out new friendships as often.

Many of the friendships I made at a young age were centered around partying and having fun. Of course, the partying can’t last forever and it is best to give that up at some point, but we shouldn’t have to stop having fun. But then I also think that the problem could be with me because I tend to stay away from situations in which I could be making friends.

Aside from work, I don’t really associate with people in other forums. I’m not a member of any clubs or organizations that promote fellowship or a sense of community. The obvious reason being because I’m an introvert and the act of putting myself out there in that way is exhausting. I’ve tried it before and it just doesn’t seem to work for me, so I stick with my tried and true way of making friends – I tend to let them befriend me first.

The saying that introverts are “adopted” by extroverts is very true for me, as I’m sure it is for many other introverts. I have introverted friends, but many of my close friends have always been more extroverted than not. However, as I grow older, I appreciate the much deeper conversations that I can have with my introverted friends. That’s not to say that extroverts aren’t capable of deep conversation, they just tend to be more capable of bringing out the “fun” side of things.

I shouldn’t complain because the friends that I do have are all great, I just wish things could sometimes be the way they were in the past. It can get a bit lonely whey you feel like you don’t have a friend who can be there for you in person if the situation calls for it. Long distance friendships are still friendships, but nothing can replace what an in-person connection is capable of providing.

For now, I must remain content in where I am with my friendships and I don’t ever want to replace the friends that I do have, I just wish it was easier to generate a new friendship every now and again. Just one every five years or so, is that too much to ask? I mean, it’s nice to have at least one person aside from my wife to list as an emergency contact. Now that I think about it, I don’t think anybody has ever asked me to be their emergency contact either. Oh well, maybe someday that will change but I will never have to change who I am – an introvert and proud of it!